Speaking of cute things that come bundled with heartbreaking tragedy, we have Spoink, who appears to have been scientifically designed to have an Adorability Index of over 3,000 kilobuttons. This of course means that it must be in constant mortal peril:
Spoink bounces around on its tail. The shock of its bouncing makes its heart pump. As a result, this Pokémon cannot afford to stop bouncing - if it stops, its heart will stop.
We've mentioned this one before here at Comics Alliance, but holy crap that is grim. It's even worse if you take into account that the object of the game is to battle these things until they faint, and unless it can bounce after getting blown into unconsciousness by a water cannon growing out of a giant turtle, every single battle ends with you straight up murdering it. It's a wonder Officer Jenny doesn't haul you off to be tried as an adult on sight.
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